The Start of The Journey

Hi,

I decided to create this blog to help me find myself again because somewhere on the way I lost who I was. I forgot it. And now lies a heavy task in front of me - to find myself.

Who am I? I am a 24 year old young female. I origin from a small eastern European country but I have traveled the world and they have taken me to South America, USA and Canada. Each place I visited thought me something but each of them also took something away. And now at the age of 24 I find myself completely lost. I am currently in Canada trying to meed ends.

What triggered this new journey? I was an administrator on an online game. I spent a lot of time on it and I truly enjoyed it. I met many great people there but no one in real. Then the last weekend I finally decided to meet one of them.

I liked the person and I spent a whole weekend at his place. Things happened and they happened first time for me. And of course nothing came out of there. It was just fun for him and left me feeling empty, used and with no self respect.

And now I question myself - where did it all go? At what point of my life did I loose myself so much? When did it become such great mess?

So in the end I retired from that game after being administrator for over a year. I made a new msn address and added only the 4 closest ones there. I decided to go back to my home country in September and study for a nurse there. Then I want to come back. Will I succeed on that journey? Will I find this self respect that I lost? Will I make myself into someone I can love?

I invite you to come with me on this journey. All of you who know nothing about me and who I dont know. Be my companions.

Yours Truly,
Ashes